you're fired, erotica disney style and the world's cheapest laptop

MOVIE & TELEVISION NEWS: Jennifer Garner to star in a new "erotic Disney thriller." The man of childhood wonders and gumdrop daydreams Disney rolls over in his grave in the meantime. (more)
Woody Allen claims that his marriage has more of a paternal feeling, sending shudders down every stepdaughter's spine. (more)
Jail has done absolutely zero to Martha Stewart's ego. She recently admitted that she had originally conceived the idea that she would be using Trump's catchphrase against him, thus firing him. Yeah, Martha, because everyone would prefer to be up-to-snuff about your latest sunbleached pear hand-knit bedspread as opposed to knowing if Trump is going to be opening up some snazzy hotel down the street. (more)

MUSIC & MISC. CELEBRITY NEWS: Christian Slater fell off of a roof at Paris Hilton's party. Unfortunatley, no harm was done to his ego or caused any improvement in his career. (more)

MONEY & WORLD NEWS: Wal-Mart's Black Friday secrets seep through the cracks, displaying the $398 HP laptop, $39.88 Lexmark Printer/Scanner/Copier and many other goodies that will break your budget at a second's notice. For all people should know, no matter how good the bargain, you're still dipping in your wallet. (more)

smashing of ipods, pregnant 40 year olds & blood thirsty americans

My other computer is dead. What luck do I have. Wonderful. So no MP3s for a little bit longer. Here's the news post I promised you. Damn I'm slow.

WORLD NEWS: Brother of Iraqi vice president killed by gunmen early this morning; recent military report says that almost 26,000 Iraqis have been killed or wounded by insurgent attacks (1/1/04- 9/16/05). (more)

CELEBRITY NEWS: Celebrities are pushing their ticking inner clocks and getting pregnant more often after their 30s--or at least lots of them are in the lime light about their (possible) children. Brooke Shields, 40, is pregnant. Janet Jackson is still denying her "secret daughter." Angelina Jolie wants to adopt more babies soon. (more)

Star Trek fans may or may not be in shock after discovering that their beloved Sulu (George Takei) is gay. Takei is 68 and has been with his partner (Brad Altman) for 18 years. (more)
WEB CRAZE: New website shows videos of people "smashing" their iPods. Meanwhile, thousands of people wonder who has enough money they can blow, waits for a Donate My iPod webcraze to jumpstart. (more)

Brothers suck & jumpstarting the blog to life.

Heavy Hearted & Waiting has been on delay because my computer has no internet access, so I can't rip MP3s and put them on the blog. I apologize. I will be back whenever my stupid brother gets our cable cord back from his friends. :)

I'll return with the celebrity news tomorrow. Until then, thanks for sticking around!

Sarah Jeannette

Trump likens self to communism; diaper bombing in Germany

Donald Trump is all for a capitalist television show in a communist country; plans for a Chinese "Apprentice" are in the works. (more)
Talk about atomic shit... a "malfunctioning diaper" springs bomb alert into action. (more)
Hollywood doesn't have all of the gossip and latest news, after all. Victoria Gotti concealed her cancer from "Growing up Gotti" and her family. (more)
Monroe, both Hepburns and Dean were snubbed with the most famous deceased celebrities; Ball, Wayne and Hope are considered the most popular. (more)
Paris Hilton has no tolerance for dogs that don't mimick her size, ditches Tinkerbell. PETA vs Hilton. (more)
Britney, a bigamist? Or is this guy simply a starstruck fool? (more)
Is she or isn't she? Rumours are that Courtney love is expecting more than a rehab sentence. (more)

hissy fits, drugs, sex and animals..?

The Forty Year Old Virgin scores 20.6 million and a box office success in it's debut, proving that it really doesn't matter if you're laid before college... women still love you. (more)
The Teen Choice Awards and teenage voters everywhere are proven to have little to no taste by handing away awards to the best "hissy fit" to Napoleon Dynamite (most overrated movie ever) after Heder requested chapstick. Hollywood is at a lack of Richie vs. Hilton and Lohan vs. Duff, apparently. Bring on the chick fights in 2006! (more)
GROUND BREAKING NEWS: Courtney Love fesses up to drug use. Who would've thought? (more)
Cute kitten survives fall, fire and electric shock. Hopefully the other six lives will be a little less rough. (more)

Piss, pot, horses and "fading" black men

So Russians will be fed marijuana flavoured steaks next year after Russia feeds pot to their bison supply for the winter months. I expect PETA will be bombing the hell out of their asses within the next year. (more)
Madonna, doing well, will have no delay the release of her new album due to the fall from a horse on her birthday. (more)
Jackson is fined over not appearing at a court hearing. (more)
Three words: urine-powered battery. (more)

times when the music was worth the money

MP3s
I created a directory of MP3s from the sixties to the nineties of music to listen to once you realize all new music has been done and is more than likely horribly done at that.
MP3s include: Madonna, Aretha Franklin, The Temptations, Barry Manilow, The Vapors, Kenny Loggins, Styx, REO Speedwagon, Elton John, Starship, Taylor Dane, Diana Ross + The Supremes, The Doors, The Who and The Ramones.
http://www.savefile.com/projects/712593

IN THE NEWS
Christie Brinkley still a cover girl at 51; considered a wholesome American role model. (more)
EW's top ten most anticipated movies include Flightplan and Corpse Bride. (more)
Dick Clark and Ryan Seacrest to co-host the 34th annual New Year's eve bash. (more)
BBC looks back at the Britpop invasion ten years ago. (more)
Jen calls Brad "insensitive" and then reports that they had horrible furniture. (more)
Roman burial grounds found in Austria; dates to 2-3 BC. (more)

Note to Self: Don't Attempt New Things Today & Don't Pay Bills

Reportedly, a Wyoming woman recently died during her first attempt at sky diving on Saturday. There are conflicting eye-witness reports, so we can just assume that sometimes first times should never happen, and sometimes they're the last. I'll just remember not to sky dive in Wyoming anytime soon.

In celebrity news, Dennis Rodman will not face charges for not paying his bill for gas at a gas station in Colorado. An anonymous bystander paid the bill for the gas and a cowboy hat that he had kept. The moral of the story: if you are a celebrity, you get paid too much, but you don't have to pay for anything.

[more on netscape]

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MP3s will be added on Monday.